Things They Will Never Say
by Chiaki-Netsuko
Summary: Things That Each Character Wouldn't Say. VERY FUNNY!Final Chapter Up!. Please Review, Flames Welcome. No Swearing in Reviews
1. Inuyasha

**Disclaimer: Inu's Haori is Red, Miroku's Eyes Are Blue, I Don't Own Inuyasha, So Please Don't Sue!**

**Here Is A List Of Things You Will Never Hear Inuyasha Say, Think Or Do:**

**Looks at a box of ramen "no thanks…"**

**2. "Sorry" (unless forced)**

**3. Confess his feelings for Kagome (well... anything that involves a feeling other then hate…)**

**4. "I love cats"**

**5. "Miroku, I will bear your child"**

**6. "Koga, Kagome is yours"**

**7. " I don't wanna look for Shikon Shards"**

**8. "Meow"**

**10. "I just love my brother"**

**11. "Sesshomaru, I worship you..."**

**12. (Sesshomaru dies ) Crying "no! Come back! I miss you already!"**

**13. " I want to read a book" **

**14. " I Love you Miroku!"**

**15. " I want to go to school, learn, and go to college"**

**16. "I want to join Kagome in the Hot Springs!"**

**17. Let Naraku live, he's been through a lot.**

**18. (In front of his entire party, in a loud voice without blushing.) Kagome, I love you! Let's get married right now! Screw Kikyou and any thoughts about having been responsible for her death!**

**19. Runs off like an coward in the middle of a big fight.**

**20. Inuyasha is afraid to fight: " Kagome, you can take this one, while I run and hide behind one of those trees"**

**21. Go into an song and dance routine**

**22. "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!" (With the dance)**

**23. Ya know this whole stupid 'Let's go collect the Jewel Shards' trip would be a LOT easier if we had one of those fancy movie cars like the Bat Mobile or a James Bond Car or something! But 'NoOoOoOoOo' Kagome says, 'Naraku will think of that! Bat Mobile is too loud, James Bond will sue'!**

**24. (While out on search for the Skikkon Jewl Shards) "Dammitt! We're missing the Superbowl!"**

**IIMP : SOOO, How'd I Do? Funny? Stupid? Tell Me In Your Review**

**I'm Also The Authoress Of "Stupid Kikyo" Which Is Really Funny.**

**Please Be Good And Review. In The Review Tell Me Which Character You Want Me To Do Next… Flames Welcome (Although Not Desired)**


	2. Sesshomaru

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Inuyasha Or Anyone, OK!**

**Things Sesshomaru Will Never Think, Say Or Do:**

**1. Sesshomaru turns into a fangirl during the night of a full moon.**

**2. "I wish I had a pair of rainbow toe socks...sigh."**

**3. Sesshomaru kills himself because he ran out of cheese.**

**4. Sesshomaru asks Kagome to take him back to her time and let him watch soap operas.**

**5. Sesshomaru gets his ears pierced.**

**6. "Oh! It's time for me to shave my legs! Rin, where's my razor?"**

**7. Out of no where, Sesshomaru asks, "Do you like cheese?"**

**8. Sesshomaru and Naraku greet each other with a kiss on the cheek.**

**9. "Inuyasha, I look up to you! I love you sooo much!"**

**10. "Ooooooh! I HAVE to thank that person who gave me that WONDERFUL nickname Fluffy!"**

**11. Sesshomaru asks for makeup advice.**

**12. Sesshomaru knows Kagome, Miroku, Shippo, and Sango's names, and says them out loud.**

**13. Sesshomaru praises Inuyasha.**

**14. "Hey, how many times do you think I can twirl around before I barf?"**

**15. Sesshomaru winks,...at anyone.**

**16. "Jaken, did you know that you are my best friend:)"**

**17. Sesshomaru actually talks to Inuyasha and doesn't have thoughts of killing him.**

**18. Sesshomaru talks to Inuyasha about his feelings.**

**19. "I want you all to called me Fluffy, from now on."**

**20. "Jaken! Lets go dance and frolic in the woods naked!"**

**21. You know? I really do love my brother, very much indeed.**

**22. What do mean I have 'pointy ears'? Is that supposed to be some kind of insult?**

**IIMP: HAHAHA! I Love Making Fun Of Sesshomaru! We All Know He Acts Sooooooooo Girly!**

**Sesshomaru: I'm In A Bad Mood, And My Brother Sucks… So Stay Away From Me**

**IIMP: Puts Danger Sign Around Sesshomaru Look It's A Pretty Necklace!**

**Sesshomaru: Starts Chasing IIMP MUAHAHA**

**IIMP: Stares…Runs Away PLEEEAAAASEE RREEEVIEEWWW!**


	3. Naraku, Kagura And Kanna

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing, NOTHING, OK!**

**IIMP: Time To Respond To The Reviewers:**

**Deiety of sorrow: I'll End Up Doing Both But Naraku First. Thx 4 Reviewing -**

**Vegeta'sgurl89: Thank You For The Compliments. Sesshomaru Was Chapter 2.**

**i-love-vash: I Take That As A Compliment…-**

**Nikki: Please Don't Die Because Of Me. Laughing To Much Can Be A Problem. **

**IIMP: And Without Further Ado: The Things Naraku, Kanna And Kagura Would Never Say, Think Or Do:**

**Kanna&Kagura: Let Us Leap And Frolic!**

**Kagura: I Want to Be A Part Of You Forever, Naraku!**

**Naraku: 1."I'll Get You My Pretty, And Your Little Dog Too!"**

**2."I'm A Girl!"**

**3. " I Never Wanted To Use The Shikon Jewel For Evil, I just really wanted a…..a Pony"**

**4.Go Into a Song and Dance Routine**

**5. "So Explain WHY I Would Want An All Powerful Jewel!"**

**IIMP: I Know, It's Lame. But I Couldn't Think Of Any Good Ones And There Wasn't Enough For Them To Each Have A Chappie, So I Put Them together.**

**IIMP: Please Review! I'm Not Making The Next Chappie Untill I Get 5 To 10 Good Reviews. Also, If You Like This, Check Out Stupid Kikyo, Also By Me!**

**IIMP: Arigato And Arioso!(Tell Me,Who I Should Do Next!)**


	4. Shippo, Kikyo And Koga

**Disclaimer: Do I Have To Say It!**

**IIMP: …WOW! Sooo Many People Reviewed! I'm Amazed! A Lot Of You Wanted Me To Do Miroku, So He And Sango Will Be Next. I Was Going To Do A Individual Review Response, But That'll Take Forever, So To My Reviewers: THANK YOU FOR READING AND REVIEWING!**

**Anyway… Things That Shippo, Kikyo and Koga Would Never Say, Do Or Think:**

**Shippo: I Fit Easily Into Overhead Storage Bins, Which Is Why I Should Go With Kagome, Not Inuyasha!**

**I Admit It! I'm An Annoying Pest!**

**Kikyo: ****Kagome, Inuyasha, I have decided to stop acting like such a child and admit that Inuyasha has no obligation to come to hell w/ me so I'm going to go to hell alone and I want you two to get married and have twelve children! Heck, even move into my old house while you're at it!**

**I Don't Need Any Of These Souls. I Don't Need To Live This Way! For God Sakes, I'm Made Out Of Clay! Is This The Way All The Living Wish To Become so That Can Live After They Die? I THINK NOT!**

**Koga: ****"My Main Goal In Life Is To Become A Homemaker... Or, If I Can't Find A Suitable Mate, A Garbage Man Will Certainly Do."**

**I HATE YOU KAGOME! I LOVE KIKYO NOW! GO TO HELL,**

**KAGOME!**

**IIMP: AAHH Music To My Ears. This Is Fun, Making Up Stuff Like This…**

**Anyway, Please Review. If I Get 2 Good Reviews, I'll Make The Next One.**

**Ideas and Flames Are Welcome. NO SWEARING!**

**Arigato And Arioso. **

**Inuyasha-Is-My-Puppy**

**PS: Sorry They Were so Short. **


	5. Miroku, Sango And Kirara

**Disclaimer: … I, Inuyasha-Is-My-Puppy, Own None Of The Characters Henceforth Mentioned.**

**IIMP: HELLO! Like I Promised, The 5th Chappie Of Things They Will Never Say Will Be Devoted To Miroku And Sango. I Would Also Like To Thank All Of My Reviewers.**

**Give Me Your Opinion. Should I Change My Name To: I-Love-Inuyasha-And-Kish ?**

**Anyway, Tell Me In Your Review. On With Thy Story!**

**Things Miroku and Sango Would Never Say, Do Or Think:**

**Miroku: 1. (Singing) "Like A Virgin"**

**2. "I'm Gay"**

**3. "I Won't Ever Look At Another Girl In My Entire Life"**

**4.Turn Down A Girl**

**5. "I Love Naraku"**

**6. Let Naraku Go (Same As Inuyasha)**

**7. "I'm An Caligynephobic!" (I'm Afraid Of Beautiful Women!)**

**8. "Okay! Who Took the Razor? You Know I Have To Shave My Legs Every Wednesday! "**

**9. " I Poke Badgers With Spoons"**

**Sango: "...Damn it...Why Do I Always Have To Carry This Big Boomerang Around? Inuyasha Only Has To Carry A Sword, Miroku Has A Staff, And Kagome has A Bow And Some Arrows!"**

"**Who Said I Wanted Kirara? It's Too Much Trouble For Me To Look After Her.. And, She Looks Ugly!"**

(Out Of Nowhere) " Miroku! I Love You! I Want To Marry You, Right Here Right Now!"

**Kirara: (Always Thinking) " EEWW! I Don't Want To Eat Fish!"**

" **I Hate These Stupid People. I Don't Want them To Play With Me Or Ride On ME!" **

**IIMP: Sorry I Couldn't Think Of Many Things For Kirara. And She Can't Actually Speak, Soo, It Was Very Hard. Next I'm Going to Do Kagome. And Then I'll Do Some Group Ones. I Hope You Enjoyed That And Please Review. Flames And Ideas Welcome. Swearing Not Allowed! Thank You**

**IIMP**

**PS: I LOVE INUYASHA AND KISH!**


	6. Kagome

**IIMP: I'm Sooooooo Sorry It Took Me Soooooo Long to Update AND I Don't Have An Extra Long Chappie To Say Sorry… :'( Well… At Least I Won't Talk For Long… So…**

**The Things Kagome Would Never Say, Think Or Do:**

**1. Admit Her True Feelings**

**2. Run Off With Miroku**

**3. I Am Madly In Love With Sesshomaru**

**4. Kikyo… You And I Are Best Friends **

**5. Kikyo, Take Him to HELL With You Already!**

**6. Well… Number 16 On Inuyasha**

**7. Miroku, I'm Getting Angry With Inuyasha… Let's Do The Thing You Wanted To Do In The First Place (XD)**

**8. Sesshoumaru, I've Come To Elope With You. You Are The Much Better Looking, Stronger, More Gentle Brother...**

**9) I Want To Play With My Little Ponies!**

**Well That's It For The Whole Story… FOR NOW! I Might Make A Sequel With The New People (The Band Of Seven) So Watch For It! It'll Have Almost The Same Title! Well…. I Gotta Go!**

**Please R&R! Thank You Sooooo Much For Reading This Fic!… Oh Yeah… And THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ AND REVIEWED (Kindly) TO THIS STORY! I LUV YOU GUYS!**


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